07. 18. EXCUSES

Okay, let’s deal with the facts here — there’s no getting over two days’ worth of missed posts. Actually no, that’s a terrible way to begin because those are not actually the facts. There is totally a way, I could just look up some pictures online and backdate the whole shebang. But I won’t, because that is way too much work and I didn’t eat anything quite so interesting as to merit that level of dedication. So the past couple of days, to be exact for the past six days, I’ve been having this odd numbness on my left side. And as you know, anything one-sided is totally not a good sign in terms of symptoms. So I guess it was a relief of sorts that at times, my right hand or leg would go to sleep as well. But relief or not, there was strangeness, lo, and I was confused. I thought it might have been something to do with not lying down for prolonged periods of time, since I’d not been sleeping that well, so I tried to rest it off — but there wasn’t any back pain to speak of (besides the usual, but that’s not relevant) so again, confusion reigned supreme. And then I finally got sick of this valetudinarian prevarication and called my mother to ask. Luckily she was talking with a couple of doctors in her office, and their general consensus was that I had, wonder of wonders, an electrolyte imbalance. Which totally makes sense. I’ve been drinking more water than usual, hardly anything on my menu is salty, and things actually seemed better after I guzzled down a bottle of some energy drink. Also sometime today I started developing a motor tic around my right eye so potassium and magnesium sound like they are in demand by my body. I am going to have to drink orange juice or eat bananas or something to do something about that. Hopefully I’m not getting much wrong in terms of, you know, what to do when you do have electrolyte imbalance. Besides, how bad can orange juice and bananas possibly be for you? Tune in next time, when I let you know that I’m going to skip two weeks’ worth of posts because I’ve developed stomach ulcers.

[ETA] It just occurred to me that this entire blog is like an exercise in watching me fall apart. Honestly, since when were you so sensitive about imbalances, o mortal shell? I do not believe it. But then again, I did go two weeks in high school with a blinding idiopathic pain in my side that mysteriously went away — maybe now I’m just more of a whiner. At any rate, here I am, disintegrating. Thanks to the limitations of the bodily frame. And Takeshi Kaneshiro. (No, The Good, the Bad, the Weird did not capture my heart and soul, oddly enough. It would have if it had given the barest minimum of thought to who instead of how, but as it stands I did enjoy it. I’m just not going to lose any sleep over it.)