09. 05. DINNER

순두부찌개: spicy soft tofu soup

So this is what I leave with, the tofu restaurant down the street. We ate out. I think it’s a fitting last supper for this summer vacation — something unassuming, something close to home. You know, I used to hate going home in high school. I used to wish fervently that I’d be allowed to stay in the dorms, when we were sent home once a month. But then, as soon as we moved, I stopped hating it. Maybe it was because our new house was more spacious, maybe we had more room in our hearts afterwards, but that can’t just be it. I think it’s because we used to live here, in this exact spot, and then we had to move five minutes down the road because they were rebuilding the apartments. It’s just five minutes’ distance, but I think that all along, I couldn’t really forget that one day we would move out and back to our old home. And I think that it’s the same for this town, or this city, or this country — there’s a feeling that some people say they got when they met the love of their lives. That they’d be together for a very, very long time. I think it’s something like that. And everywhere else is just somewhere to rest your feet, a pause along the way. The heart’s been left at home. But in the meanwhile — on the road — keep moving, because if you stop, then you’ll start thinking. And if you start thinking, you’ll start being sad. So keep moving; drown out the white noise one day at a time. There are people who love you, no matter what gets in your way, so forget about everything else and the thousand terrible moments ahead of you. This is for myself, the only person I’m qualified to give advice to. You have your duties and to stay strong is one of them. Clutch, love, and sometimes you can cry. But in the meanwhile remember the love — think of the food, it’s all the same. It’s all good memories so keep those the best you can, even if you have to drown out everything else being gone. Focus. Hold that chin up. It will all wait for you.