07. 21. BREAKFAST

crackers with tuna salad

I am having this. Which means that we went to E-Mart. Huzzah for food! I keep forgetting that I should stock up, I might as well, so I always end up getting three cans and polishing it off in a week and then being very sad about the whole ordeal. Anyway Monday starts off smoothly. Also right now I am still listening to this radio show and it is all kinds of ridiculous. Of course half the jokes fall flat, but the other half don’t where they should, so it’s just even more ridiculous. For example currently Zhuge Liang and his brother have been making fools of themselves for five whole minutes out of a twenty-minute episode. Actually let me revise something back there — half the jokes that fall flat are only half failures, because at least you can tell what they’re referencing with the gag, which is marginally better than some avant-garde invention of humor that involves creative ways of inducing awkward silences. I am so sick of awkward silences in comedy shows. Let me just make that clear, out of the blue.

07. 10. BREAKFAST

crackers with tuna salad

When this blog began, it was somewhat pseudo-semi-literary, or at least that was my intention. The dismal quality of the writing has stayed level, but increasingly my intentions are turning toward the unambitious. By now I am just like “okay here is food here is some text go run wild be free” and free spirits are awesome but we must curb ourselves somehow. I don’t think I’m doing anything soon to remedy this, but I’m just noting it. You know. I had a nice breakfast and a nice shower and I dressed nicely (no, serious, I didn’t look like a freshly washed hobo today) and my mom drove me to school because she was sorry for going missing late last night. And then class was canceled. Actually apparently it’s something to do with the professor’s family, so I don’t think I should be annoyed or angry, but it is rather disappointing when not in light of the circumstances. So I headed straight back home, and let me tell you, sister, the inner-city circle subway at half past nine is not something anyone should have to take. There’s no room to even stumble. It’s good practice for fitting in a coffin, though.

07. 07. BREAKFAST

crackers with tuna salad

I need to get some more this weekend, I’m enjoying these greatly. I don’t actually have time for them on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, though, so they’ll be my treat on the other days. Of course if I had vegetables or something I could always make eggs, but honestly how often do you feel awake enough in the morning to handle a knife? Red Cliffs opened today. Unfortunately I had way too much stuff scheduled to go, but maybe tomorrow, or the day after. Traditional instrument battle!

07. 06. BREAKFAST

crackers with tuna salad

Here’s a sad story: once upon a time, a gaggle of high school girls were in search of the perfect snack to have at those pesky hours of the night when they were in extreme amounts of painful hunger from the poor dinner they’d had six hours ago. Without some sort of sugar aiding their brain, they couldn’t possibly stay up and cram for the exam tomorrow. Lo and behold, that was when they discovered the light, a prettily wrapped package of ready-made tuna salad and crackers. The salad even came in two flavors! And so they were happy, and the world was good. Alas, this paradise was not to last. In only a matter of months, they discovered that apparently, they had been the only people buying this product at all, and that the entire thing was discontinued. How they wept! Their ensuing rage was only tripled when, upon a routine trip back home, they noticed via a commercial on TV that the product was now replaced with some sort of disgustingly hip affair involving the crackers and salad being in open packaging in an airtight plastic container. What a disgrace! And it was marketed toward teenyboppers! Their hearts burned with fury. But eventually no one bought that either so the company went back to just making the salad and putting it in cans like before except without the crackers. But the crackers were always sold separately so that was fine. So it was awesome. The end.

06. 24. DINNER

crackers with cherry tomatoes and camembert

I think the caramel popcorn did me in. Even with a conscience free of my mother’s guilt-inducing glares, I couldn’t really eat a decent dinner. So I had a handful of crackers. I’m not sure whether this is healthy, and I’m pretty sure that I’ll be starving while I’m coaching the debate team, but cranky makes for efficiency and maybe I’ll take some snacks along with me so that the kids can refuse them again when I offer them like the saint I am. No, they’re fine, they’re bigger victims than I am. I would talk at length about how much I want to watch Hancock and Wanted and also The Dark Knight even though that’s a little ways away, but that would be driving individually sculpted stakes into their bleeding hearts. And since I am a saint, I do not do that.

06. 15. BREAKFAST

banana milk and half-cooked egg with crackers

Egg is egg and crackers are crackers, but the real star of this meal is the banana milk. They’re smart not to have changed the packaging in the decades that it’s existed — lots of people don’t go around memorizing what company the milk is from, but it’s that shape they reach for anyway. And it still tastes the same, doesn’t it, like when after school you would drop by the corner store and buy a bag of snacks for a dime.